Frankie's Birthday at SmartBar (From 5 Magazine's archives)

I expected the worst. After enduring nonsensical “irritainment” like this over the years and watching it go viral for all the wrong reasons, I don’t expect much out of Time Out when it comes to real House Music… and I’m usually not disappointed.

So I started reading Time Out’s latest listicle of the best House Music DJs of all time with a jaundiced eye and a stick up my ass and found that it was… completely defensible. Completely fine! Could have written it myself, even, because while these things are so subjective that it’s become rote to preface any discussion of it by saying they’re so subjective, there was no one on the list that didn’t belong there. You can quibble with the ranking or people not on it but everyone that is on it is a solid choice.

The article itself was written by Bruce Tantum, ex- of Mixmag and the fellow who conducted our extremely popular interview with one half of the #5 artist on there – Kenny Dope of Masters At Work. Should have known from great lines like this, about Derrick Carter:

In 2006, the website help a poll to determine who were the most famous Chicagoans; Derrick Carter found himself in the 66th slot. “Those are the kinds of things of I can show my mom when she’s busting my balls about me not having health insurance,” Carter told Time Out New York in a 2008 interview.

You can also argue that any list that doesn’t include Frankie Knuckles and Ron Hardy as #1 and #2 in whichever order you prefer is best ignored altogether. His bravest calls come toward the end, but others that make the cut include Tony Humphries, the appallingly unsung Wicked Crew, Terrence Parker and … well just go and read it now, then.